cover.
The cover; sensitive information has been censored.
0.
I used to like to doodle on these laminated-like inside-covers, untill the texture of drawing on them started to feel uncomfortable.
1.
This page is split into six sections: hatched, zig-zag, noise, spiral, webs, and hi... just hi.
2.
A couple "frosts", also she says "ts "p.e.o.m" here as a nod to my own series
3.
More doodles, i would've put these inside the "traditional art" section if not for the fact that these are in the journal, and also the first instance of branches at the top there.
4.
First instance of the window concept, and also a cipher.
5.
One of my types of episodes are blocks of colour, or architecture starting to overlay in the foreground of my window [vision], and they bend and warp my sense of reality.
6.
ERKI!; among their planets [erki! is a one-off character].
7.
How the damsel perseves their JOHNNNY [on the left], versus how they are in reality [on the right].
8.
A more fleshed out Branch Map, an attempt at an optical illusion.
9.
A close up of a human, on the fields: the layers of conciousness that make up a human being, or how i'd imagine a 7th dimentional perseeving me, all my hidden, deep secrets and the future and past of me.
10.
I have no idea.
11.
A funny little puzzle made by me in the past, meant for me in the future to crack; the answer: "my time has come"... very nice!
12.
I remember not having the strength to finish this one, but i don't remember what caused so
13.
Ah there's my strength back for this one, all in my bran at that time on one page
14.
I'd accidentally skipped a page, you can see the reminants of so in the backdrop of the notebook, where the pen bled through. Also the text reads: "DAY0 ALREADY"
15.
Another accidental page skip, but at least you can slightly see the faded image.
16.
Experimenting with shading with a pencil, and also a couple very silly images with text that make them better (my favourite).
17.
LOVEE-FREE-LEE! it was feburary.
18.
The image of a frost doing a gesture with their hands is reminiscent of the action i used to do that calmed me down when i was younger [9-14].
19.
How my face distorted when i looked in the mirror, tried to draw it.
20.
Cont'd. from B.4.
21.
Was interested in trying to draw in another style, so white-eyed blob person.
22.
The guilt i had for having overtly sexual thoughts.
23.
m(r)eow
24.
Tried out having alt. designs for the frosts.
25.
I remember vaguely about my obsession about butterflies at the time i drew this.
26.
Bugs and frosts, i see no difference.
27.
more !!!
28.
"REACH FO R THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD?????"
29.
Frosts interacting with eachother.
30.
An attempt of an ending monologue for P.E.O.M.
31.
cover.
The cover; sensitive information has been censored.
0.
I used this page to refer to a substitution cipher.
1.
THe scribbles on the back are mostly of anger, and the arrows are reminders of a musical idea.
2.
A snout of a barfing animal i saw in one of my episodes, as you can see... i've torn the edges of the page. Also yes i do mean "A" snout
3.
Word worm that wishes to become someone like a butterfly, lets wish me luck.
4.
A short piece of writing, have fun.
5.
Tried to calm down by scribbling in an orderly fashion, ft. the spirit animal (among us edition)
6.
A polaroid portrait, i also liked the way i switched out the words in the readable section.
7.
To be nice, i'll let you see the cipher shift key, to make it easier than the easy it already was. alphabet.
8.
Wrote down science/physics variables to look smart, only to realise people learn this in grade school.
9.
So much hidden writing.
10.
Based on a recursive dream, ft. eyes-guy.
11.
My room morphed into this configuration, the arrows annotating everything was an artistic choise.
12.
This was me trying to find a good way to validate suicide, thankfully i had enough reason to cross it out. !!!
13.
When i was younger, i hated being called anything masculine, this is what it felt like when i tried to act more femme when there was already an expectation for me to act manly.
14.
Cont'd from B.4.
15.
Cont'd from B.4.
16.
Cont'd from B.4.
17.
Cont'd from B.4.
18.
Cont'd from B.4.
19.
Cont'd from B.4. | BANG !!!
20.
Trying to draw faces and (individually) human features
21.
MAZE! [don't bother trying to solve it, the exit is offscreen].
22.
I love the way the alphabet is arranged here, and the accompanying pose of one of the frosts
23.
This is me trying to capture the essence of JOHNNNY while in a relatively bad episode
24.
"Just a bunch of lines and dots !!!!" relates to the fact that if drawings on a piece of paper can emulate reality, is reality itself a drawing in its own cosmic way? [there's a better way to word that]
25.
A list of characters that was going to be in thefifthwall but they've been left dormant with the cancelation of any new episodes.
26.
27.
The MANDELL was added recently, as the original thefifthwall.neocities is now gone.
28.
I used to use this character as a symbol of my lack of sanity, but it felt too on the nose and too insane looking [how ironic].
29.
See N[ote].27
30.
This page connects with...
31.
...this one! Prepare for a few more of these.
32.
Other people who've died from suicide are portrayed as baloons; they stay in a state of purgatory in my mind palace, they're waiting for me.
33.
The first time a four-d message was sent to my brain, or me recieving it correctly.
34.
I used to doubt my ability to create things, because if i have no one to show them to, then it's going to be useless anyway; i'll be forgotten.
35.
A representation on how my vision felt/looked like for a few days, this was the peak of the episode. Every detail is so clear yet blurry to my puny eyes, and my limbs aren't mine, and like there was a hole in my brain for other thoughts to controll mine
36.
Me and Ell roleplaying, they hate trying to play a character
37.
The drawing of duplicate frosts behind eachother was based on the expierience of me being able to see/feel multiple versions of multiple realities and braches, this still occurs to this day [16/06/26].
38.
A reference to Don Hertzfeldt's Rejected's Fish Finger Creatures, and also my state of mind deteriorating
39.
m's phaese of being obscessed w / me lol
40.
see ?
41.
At the bottom is a demo for tfw's fifth episode, and connected hurt between us.
42.
JOHNNNY's persuasion | COMING UP ... ... ... EPILOGUE
fin.
COMING UP ... ... ... EPILOGUE
E0.
_
E1.
/
E2.
//
E3.
///
E4.
////
E5.
////end
back.
This journal was made with an empty schoolbook i found; im surprised when i found it, it was in usable condition.
cover.
The cover; sensitive information has been censored. | This journal was spread throughout many other books, so the entries aren't in order
0.
1.
[MENTAL NAV. FOR THE 211s] : a representation of the mind in my maze, wait.
2.
[NERVOUS] : loss of control with a false guide.
3.
[MENTAL NAV. FOR THE 211s - 2.1] : see "1."
4.
[DEEP PLUNGE] : the souls controlling the vessel
5.
[ERROR GRAPHIKA] : i don rember
6.
[CIPHERTEX1] : an attempt at making a cipher, its ===============
7.
[PROJECTORPERSEEVER#1] : another overlay of myvision
8.
[NIGT] : another example of one of my overlays, i call it Yvvon
9.
[FORBALLOONNSS] : walking down a hallway, when one of the walls dissapeared, this was before i was on the normal pills
10.
[UNDERWHELIMING CROSSROADS] : a prototype to hatman(m) goes for a walk
11.
[IM NOT SATISFIED WITH THIS YET NEEDS TO BE BIGGER] : the prototype to THE 211 [soon maybe hopefully if i make it]
12.
[WHAT THE TIMELORDS SEE] : for the seventhdimentionals they see time, depth, width, height, matter, sound as one still frame
13.
[A0m/EXTINCTION] : the branches, sometimes i play this game with myself—but it sbetter to do with other people—choose left,right, or middle and uncover the path ahead and see if you die or not
14.
[PERFECTIONISM] : drawing traditionally on pen with no way of undoing is good practice to get things perfect, really meditate on the drawing before you draw it
15.
[LONES] : combination pizza hut and taco bell
16.
lil sketcf the one after
17.
[HALL] : another view of the same occurance, see 9.
18.
cubecubecubecubecubecubecubes
19.
locked heaven, will one stay and the other wont?
20.
branches visualisation
21.
multiple frosts and sticks again [m and ell], branches and thingy again alalalalalal
22.
M in ell form
23.
the little stickman with three black circles as facial features is Zardon btw
24.
ell and m's splits
25.
[ORJISELF] : climbing on a stack of your own failiures
26.
ell's fractal drawing
27.
one sp ecific radio tower has a five on the tip of it, transmit ting our thoughts fo r everyone to see !?!
28.
i used to call jonnny K, because Klan and also maybe i shouldnt say it huh. anyways other little thingys i, outdated, i call bface trianglehead, and i rarely see the human anymor
29.
what being in a trancelike state with jonnny is like, the window leads to nowhere
30.
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZEs
31.
my dudels, dudels... blogues
32.
A few of my little doodles, i was incredibly horny... should i say that ?
33.
a silly comic
34.
mirror
35.
i liek the little space cat here, i didnt name her
36.
numberssss ! also transition between M and ell is whats interesting
37.
the cat here wasnt the cat two pages before, also silly little don fish guy being hung
38.
Zablung, synced writing this with how long i could breath out
39.
trianglehead ! and finn on salvia
40.
the pathways, a.k.a the branches of the branches, but infinitely recursive
41.
42.
this was when i used to suddenly hold my breath for no reason, and hold it until i couldnt hold it anymore
43.
m and ell as sperms in the mind clouds
44.
ells ilustration on their episode
45.
m likes to draw these little things that the seven dimentionals said to her
46.
alt designs for the frosts again
47.
i like the b alt here, the c one i guess i do find it cute
48.
unfilled in triangle head and called him david, forgot to censor the cipher code so i guess call it a clue
49.
a castle in the mind clouds
end.
back.
m on the fucking stool, also imagine this as the continuation fo the cover